2024년 미스 독일로 선출된 ‘쇠나우어’는 특별한 이력을 가지고 있다. 6세 때 독일로 이주한 이란 출신으로, 건축가이자 인권운동가이며, 나이는 39세이고, 두 자녀의 어머니다.
미인대회하면 외모, 수영복 심사가 먼저 떠오르겠지만, 독일은 2019년부터 여성의 책임감과 개성을 중시하는 대회로 기준을 바꿨다. 금년에는 나이 제한도 폐지해서 42세 여성도 출전했다.
그녀는 “이민자 배경을 지닌 여성 1100만명 이상이 독일에 살고 있다”며 “나의 임무는 특히 그들 중 젊은 여성들이 최고의 모습을 보이고, 크게 생각하고, 용기를 갖고 꿈을 이룰 수 있도록 격려하는 것”이라고 소개했다.
시각적인 아름다움에만 반색하는 우리의 모습이 무색해 진다. 특히 ‘아름답다’의 어원을 ‘나답다’로 해석하는 설을 보면 의미심장하다. 15세기에는 아름답다를 ‘아람답다’로 표기했고, ‘아람’은 ‘나’라는 뜻을 가지고 있기 때문에 ‘나 다운 것’이 ‘아름다운 것’으로 보았다.
하지만 지금의 현실은 다른 이의 모습을 닮으려는 성형미인들이 너무 많다. 그래서 형제자매도 아닌데 비슷비슷한 느낌의 얼굴을 만나기도 한다. 외모 뿐만이 아니다. 다른 사람의 삶을 흉내내며, 자기에게 맞지도 않는 옷을 입고 사는 사람이 있다. 자기가 스티브 잡스이고, 일론 머스크인 줄 안다.
<꾸베 씨의 행복 여행>의 저자 프랑수아 를로르는 ‘사람들은 행복을 찾아 항상 지나온 과거나 미래 쪽으로 달려가지만 지금 이 순간이 중요하다. 현재의 모습을 외면하면 자기 존재는 사라진다. 행복은 미래의 목표가 아니라 현재의 선택’이라고 강조한다. 대표적 모더니즘 작가이자 선구적 페미니스트였던 버지니아 울프도 “타인의 눈과 생각은 우리를 가두는 감옥이자 새장이다”라고 했다. 결국 나 다움없는 아름다운 삶을 기대할 수 없다.
UN이 조사하는 행복순위에서 북유럽 국가들은 늘 상위권을 독차지한다. 그들은 ‘얀테의 법칙’대로 살려고 하기 때문이다. 얀테는 소설 <도망자, 그의 지난 발자취를 따라서 건너다>에 등장하는 가상 마을이다. 여기서는 자신을 특별한 사람이라고 생각하지 말고, 다른 사람을 의식하지 말라고 한다. 때문에 자신의 행복은 자랑꺼리가 아니고, 남과 비교할 일은 더더욱 아니다.
혹시 지금도 허세를 꾸미고 있다면 당장 멈추자.
(■ 강래경: www.connect value.net 수석교수, (사)한국강사협회 회장, Instagram @KANG.NAEKYUNG)
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